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Con yow mek Olf loff?

Yampy Jokes Send in your jokes to admin@yampy.co.uk - keep 'em fairly clean - and we'll publish any that mek ode Alf Bowers crack up. The best one each month wins a fiver - if it meks Olf loff.

P.S. Why do we spell Aynuk and Ayli so many different ways? Because our readers do - and it pulls in the internet search engine results.

Select one of the headlines below to view.
Humour - Jokes , Fun and Laughs

Aynuk's water jump
Aynuk and Ayli are walking along the cut when they come to a lock..

Aynuk isn't impressed with his son's school..

The Tale of the “Babby Jesus”
Many thanks to Keith Poole for sending us this. Yampy has been looking for it for ages, following a Can You Help request from Alan Lawrence. We've had several possible candidates, and as a result have started to sell Bible in Black Country Dialect books. But this looks as if it may be the one Alan was actually looking for. Keith tells us "My wife performed this a few years ago at the Rose Theatre in Kidderminster. I understand that half the audience hadn't a clue what she was talking about"

Dead Upset from Martin
Aynuk is taking a short cut through St. James Church

Engine Trouble from Dave Clark
Aynuk and Ayli are flying back from their holidays in Spain

What's in a Word from Dave Clark ..
Some Black Country definitions..

Black Foot Tribe from Dave Clark
Aynuk and Ayli are walking along side the cut

Surf's him right from Dave Clark
Aynuk and Ayli are sitting on Bondi Beach in Australia

Slap and Pickle from Dave Clark
Ayli buys some flavoured condoms to try and spice up his love life a bit. ..

Aynuk gets them in from Martin
Aynuk is buying his round at the Old Bulls Head.

Aynuk's Final Answer from Martin
Aynuk is on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire...

Infinity and Beyond from Martin
Aynuk and Ayli stop to look at the stars swaying, on their way home after a night out.

Legitimate Question from Beryl
A Gornal Wood couple were having their child christened at Dudley..

One Set to Love from Mike (Blackcountry Kid)
Aynuk decides its about time he got himself fit..

Rich Mon Poor Mon from Martin
Aynuk and his wife are rowing again..

Whale of a Time from Joe
Aynuk goes round to Ayli's house after he has been away all day.

Expert Witness from Mike 'Blackcountrykid'
Aynuk,Ayli and their mate Marlene were witnesses to a robbery in Sedgley..

Blind Faith from Mike 'Blackcountrykid'
A blind man was describing his favourite sport - parachuting.

Top Dollar from Martin
Aynuck is being interviewed for a new job.

Beyond reasonable doubt? from Martin
Aynuk: "Ower nipper's been expelled from school fer cheatin' in 'is exam".

A Woman's Prayer from Beryl
Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man,

Thoughts for the day from Lee
Thoughts for the day...

Medical Dictionary from Beryl
What is an enema? Not a friend.

Red Goddess from Lee

Serviced with a smile from Lee
Aynuck and Ayli are walking down Cotwall End Road

Entente Cordiale 'translated' from Mike Capewell (with apolo
Aynuk: "'ere Ayli it sez in the pairper that weem gooin ter av ter goo ter war against Iraq without the French"..

Hypothetical Question from Mike Blackcountrykid
Anuk and his wife were going up one of the hills playing a round of golf..

Baggies Fan Final Straw from Mike Blackcountrykid
After the Watford v Albion F.A. Cup game

Here Comes the Science! from Jim.
Genuine children's answers to science questions

Push Start by Craig
A man is in bed with his wife on a cold and icy night

Gary Megson's Challenge by Mike Blackcountrykid
West Brom are playing Birmingham City.

Dog Definitions by Mike Blackcountrykid ..
SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs.

Last Respects by Mike 'Blackcountrykid' ..
Aynuk and Ayli are down Bobs Brook in a boat

Football Heaven by Mike Blackcountrykid
Aynuk and Ayli, are in Gornal Athletic Football Clubhouse having a pint